[STORY] Fine. Enter. But if you kidnap me, I’ll haunt you

Let me tell you about the craziest day I’ve ever had as a car reviewer.

It started like any normal weekend. I got an invite from a dealership in Lekki to test-drive the new 2024 Toyota Camry XSE – a car everyone’s been hyping for its fuel efficiency, luxury interior, reliability, and sporty performance package.

I packed my camera, drone, mic, and gimbal. I was ready to shoot cinematic B-roll for my YouTube channel—“Drive & Vibes Reviews.” Clean title, full tank, no stress… or so I thought.

The Toyota dealership smelled like coffee and new leather.

“Good morning, sir. You’re the influencer reviewing the Camry XSE, right?” a lady in a navy blazer asked.

“Yes ma. I’m here for the test drive.”

She smiled and handed me the keys. “Please don’t speed too much. The last reviewer did TikTok drag race and almost ended our career.”

We both laughed.

Then I saw her—the car.

Glossy midnight black paint, aerodynamic curves, LED headlights sharp enough to cut onions, and 19-inch alloy wheels shining like fresh gossip.

Inside? Apple CarPlay, ambient lighting, wireless charging pad, heated seats, panoramic sunroof—the full luxury vibe.

I whispered, “God, when will my life match this dashboard?”

I set up my camera.

“Testing the 2024 Toyota Camry XSE—2.5L engine, 8-speed automatic transmission, 0-60 in 6.1 seconds. Let’s see if it’s worth the hype.”

Suddenly… someone knocked on the window.

A girl stood there.

Messy braids. Puffy eyes like she’d been crying or battling onions. Backpack strapped like she was running from ASUU or life itself.

“Please… I need a ride to Yaba. Just drop me at Third Mainland Bridge. I’ll explain.”

I paused. “This is a test drive. Not Uber.”

She looked around and whispered, “Please. I think someone is following me.”

Brother, my cinematic instincts activated.

“Fine. Enter. But if you kidnap me, I’ll haunt you.”

We hit Ozumba Mbadiwe.

She finally spoke.

“My name is Teni. I just found out my brother—my twin brother—stole my photography equipment and sold it. My Nikon Z6, drone, everything. ₦1.5 million gone.”

I glanced at her.

She continued, “I confronted him. He got angry and left. Now my uncle—who sponsored the gear—is asking for updates. I lied to him that I’m on my way to a paid wedding shoot in Yaba.”

“So… you hijacked my car review to go start a fake photography life?”

She smirked. “Will you help me or not?”

As we approached Third Mainland Bridge, a black Lexus SUV started trailing us closely.

Teni’s eyes widened. “That’s my uncle.”

I looked in the mirror. The man inside looked like someone who still pays DSTV subscription every month—angry and financially responsible.

My phone started ringing.

Unknown number.

I picked.

A deep voice said, “Tell Teni to stop the car before things get worse.”

My heart skipped. The Camry’s lane assist gently corrected the steering like, “calm down bro.”

I pulled over.

The uncle stepped out of his SUV.

Tall. Grey beard. Eyes that had seen fuel scarcity, dollar inflation, and heartbreak.

“Teni,” he said quietly, “where is my camera?”

She trembled. “Uncle, I’ll pay you back. I just need time.”

He turned to me. “Young man, thank you. But please leave. This is family matter.”

For some reason, I spoke up.

“Sir, she’s talented. But in this country, talent without money is like Ferrari without fuel.”

Silence.

Then the most unexpected thing happened.

He sighed.

“Get in the car. Both of you. You’re going to shoot a real wedding today. My friend’s daughter. If your work is good—I’ll buy you new gear.”

We drove to the wedding in the same Camry XSE—leather seats glowing under the sun, AI-powered cruise control gliding flawlessly.

Teni grabbed my camera.

I handled the drone shots.

She whispered, “Thank you… for not leaving me.”

I replied, “Just don’t make me trend on InstaBlog.”

We captured slow-motion hugs, teary smiles, the bride’s father dancing shakara with agbada, and the groom crying like subscription just auto-renewed.

We presented the wedding video that evening.

Everyone was silent.

Then the bride’s mother said:

“I want 10 more copies. How much?”

Uncle turned to Teni. “From today—you’re officially the family’s photographer.”

He looked at me. “And you—review cars but don’t forget to drive life too.”

I laughed.

Later that night, I posted:

“2024 Toyota Camry XSE Review – The Car That Witnessed a Family Reunion and Saved a Career.”

• Fuel efficiency
• Comfort
• Unexpected emotional therapy