Excuse Me, Is My Car Offending You?

Something truly hilarious and captivating happened yesterday that I can’t wait to share.

I picked up a woman in her 50s from Surulere and drove her to Ajah for a high-profile event, one reserved for an elite group of invitees. We hit it off during the ride, chatting about life.

She openly shared stories of her single days, her romantic history, and how she eventually met and married her charming husband. One piece of unexpected advice she gave me stuck with me: “If you ever decide to marry, make sure you either marry a virgin or someone with just one or two previous partners.”

I didn’t need to ask her what she meant; her point was clear. Upon arrival, I gained access to the venue. I first checked with the security guard about parking, and he told me I could park anywhere since the lot was mostly empty.

After dropping my client off at the entrance, she asked me to wait for her, promising it wouldn’t take long, so I parked between an SUV and a Benz.

A couple of minutes later, a security guard approached and told me I couldn’t park there. When I inquired why, he couldn’t provide a valid reason. Since there was no solid explanation, I explained that I was waiting for my client and had already been directed to park anywhere. I then settled back in my car, thinking everything was fine.

Suddenly, a well-dressed woman approached me, dripping in expensive jewelry. A single glance made it obvious she was wealthy or packaging to look wealthy. Without a proper introduction, she began yelling, demanding to know why I had parked there and questioning the appropriateness of my car’s position.

I chose to ignore her at first, but I lost my cool when she referred to my vehicle as “nonsense.” I calmly stepped out and said, “Madam, I don’t know if you’re married or single, but if this is how you speak to your partner, please don’t talk to me like that.” I continued, “I have every right to park where I want, especially since I brought someone here. If you think my car is out of place, feel free to offer me a better one.”

My response only seemed to infuriate her more, and she continued to rant while I maintained a smile, observing the spectacle. Soon, more security guards gathered, urging me to move my car. I stood my ground, reminding them that I had checked for parking instructions beforehand and was free to park wherever.

Finally, my client emerged, concerned about the commotion. That’s when the main drama unfolded. She backed me up, telling the aggressive woman that she had no authority to dictate where I could park. It turned into a showdown between the two women, and I simply watched. My client confronted the woman, saying, “Don’t ever speak to my son like that. What’s the actual difference between all the cars here?“

It was quite an entertaining scene, and in the end, the furious woman had no choice but to retreat in her Benz. I soon learned that the Benz belonged to her, and she wasn’t pleased with my car parked nearby.

This experience reinforced my belief that classism will be the downfall of many Nigerians. On our way back to my client’s house, we both laughed and joked about the whole situation.

STORY BY: YiremiYAH (@Kakashi_t4)