How to Live Intentionally: Designing Your Best Year Yet
After more than a decade of coaching people through life transitions, running my own small business, raising kids while trying not to lose myself, and frankly, screwing up more times than I can count, I’ve learned one hard truth: most of us don’t wake up one day living the life we want.
We drift into it—or more accurately, we get dragged along by habits, obligations, and the endless scroll of notifications. But the good news? You can design your best year yet. Not by chasing some perfect, Instagram-ready existence, but by choosing to live intentionally.
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This means making deliberate choices about where your time, energy, and attention go, even when life feels chaotic. I’ve been there. In 2018, I hit a wall—burned out from saying yes to everything, resentful of my own calendar, and realizing my days were disappearing without anything meaningful to show for it.
That was the year I stopped drifting and started designing. It wasn’t overnight magic, but it changed everything. Here’s how you can do the same today (or any year, really).
Step 1: Stop and Look Back Without Judgment
Before you plan forward, pause. Grab a notebook (or your phone notes—whatever feels easiest) and reflect on the past year. Ask yourself:
- What moments made me feel truly alive?
- Where did I waste the most energy?
- What relationships drained me, and which ones filled me up?
I used to skip this part because it felt too vulnerable. Big mistake. One year, I realized I’d spent 80% of my “free time” doom-scrolling instead of reading to my kids or walking outside. Seeing it written down hurt, but it also freed me. No shame—just clarity. This reflection isn’t about beating yourself up; it’s about spotting patterns so you don’t repeat them.
Step 2: Get Clear on Your Core Values (The Real Ones)
Intentional living starts with knowing what matters most to you—not what society, your family, or your feed says should matter. Sit quietly and list 5 things you’d fight for: family time, creativity, health, adventure, financial freedom, whatever it is. Then narrow it to 2–3 that light you up the most.
In my case, after years of chasing “success,” I realized my real drivers were deep connections with loved ones and creative work that feels like play. Once I locked those in, decisions became easier.
Saying no to late-night meetings? Easy. Skipping a weekend trip to finish a passion project? Non-negotiable.
Pro tip: Values aren’t static. Mine shifted after having kids—freedom looked different, and that’s okay. Revisit them yearly.
Step 3: Set Intentions, Not Just Goals
Goals are great, but intentions feel more human. Goals say “lose 20 pounds.” Intention says “move my body in ways that make me feel strong and energized.” I love the “word of the year” approach.
Pick one word that captures how you want to show up. Mine have included “boundaries” (life-changing), “play” (brought back joy), and “presence” (saved my sanity during a tough season). For designing your best year yet, try words like “aligned,” “nurture,” or “create.”
Let it guide your daily choices. Then, break it into 3–5 purposeful goals across key areas: health, relationships, career/finances, personal growth, and fun. Keep them realistic—I’ve learned ambitious lists lead to overwhelm. One year, I aimed for 12 big goals. I hit 3 and felt like a failure. Now I cap it at 5, and the wins feel bigger.
Step 4: Build Daily Habits That Stick (The Messy, Real Way)
This is where most advice falls flat—everyone says “wake up at 5 a.m. and meditate.” But real life has toddlers, night shifts, or chronic fatigue. Start tiny and build momentum.
My morning routine evolved from “30-minute meditation” to “5 minutes of stretching while the coffee brews.” It stuck because it fit my life. Other practical examples from my own experiments:
- Want better relationships? Schedule a weekly “no-phones” dinner or a 10-minute check-in call with a friend.
- Craving more creativity? Block 15 minutes daily for writing, doodling, or playing music—no pressure to produce.
- Health focus? Swap one habit—like walking during lunch instead of eating at your desk.
Track gently. I use a simple habit-tracking app, but a wall calendar with stickers works, too. Celebrate streaks, but forgive slips. I once went 47 days without exercise, then restarted without self-criticism. That grace kept me going.
Step 5: Guard Your Energy Ruthlessly
Living intentionally means saying no—a lot. I used to feel guilty declining invites. Now I ask: “Does this align with my values and word of the year?” If not, it’s a polite pass.
Also, protect your attention. Delete distracting apps during focused seasons. Set phone boundaries. I mute notifications after 7 p.m., and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made.
Step 6: Review, Adjust, Repeat
Every quarter, revisit your intentions. What’s working? What needs tweaking? Life changes—my “adventure” intention got paused during a family health scare, and that’s fine. Flexibility is part of intentional living, not a sign of failure.
At year-end, celebrate wins (even small ones), grieve misses, and carry forward lessons. That’s how you compound growth.
The Bottom Line: It’s About Progress, Not Perfection
Designing your best year yet isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about choosing to steer your life instead of letting it steer you. I’ve made plenty of mistakes—overcommitting, ignoring burnout signals, chasing shiny objects—but each one taught me something.
You don’t need a dramatic life overhaul. Start with one intentional choice today. Reflect honestly, clarify what matters, set a guiding intention, build tiny habits, protect your energy, and adjust as you go. Your best year isn’t waiting in some perfect future. It’s built one deliberate day at a time.
You’ve got this. Here’s to living intentionally—and making today (and beyond) the year you look back and say, “That was mine.”
